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xocrystalnicole / Love Lessons  / Lessons Learned From Failed Relationships
failed relationships

Lessons Learned From Failed Relationships

After failed relationships, I’ve learned a few things about myself, and I’ve also changed how I view these failed relationships.

Now, I welcome disappointments. Not because I want them, nor am I a glutton for punishment, but I understand what comes from disappointments. I know what blooms during hurt. I know that healing comes and lessons are learned. I know that I become better, stronger, more resilient.

I change.

I grow.

I get the chance to become a better version of myself, but only if I’m willing.

Only if I’m willing to experience the disappointment. To place myself in a position where failure is possible and do it anyway, with an open heart and open mind. Many people choose to be closed off when they’ve been hurt, ultimately closing their hearts. But, in doing so, you miss out on so many important things.

You miss out on love. You miss out on healing. You miss out on growth. More importantly, closing off your heart means you stop loving yourself, and the guide for how others should love us begins with us.

Before my first heartbreak, I lived in fear that I would be hurt and that it would break me, and it did. It happened because I allowed that thought to become a belief and, in turn, it manifested in my life. It proved my theory, which is all we’re trying to do—trying to find people and situations that confirm what we already think.

If we think no one will love us, we invite people into our lives who won’t love us.

If we think everyone who comes into our life will leave, we’ll connect with people who run.

It’s an inevitable part of life, and it’s the main reason you should monitor your thoughts and your beliefs, for what you think, you become.

Now, I no longer fear being hurt because I’ve been there, and came out of it stronger.

I choose not to allow the hurt from my past to dictate my present and what will be my future. I believe it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. We are all meant to love, whether we want to or not. As infants, we need love, care, and close contact with our parents to develop as we should, and the same is true as an adult.

Denying myself the opportunity to love and be loved only hurts me in the end. It stunts my growth as a person and dwarfs my evolution, and I refuse to let that happen.

I refuse to give up on myself. I refuse to give up on love.

Being hurt is a part of life, and it’s a part of the growing process. It’s not something we can escape, and none of us is exempt from it. But, being hurt isn’t nearly as important as what we choose to do with it. You can choose to still love, to try again after failing, or you can relinquish your power and allow what has already happened to block what is to come.

The choice is and has always been yours.

Do yourself a favor and grab Radical Forgiveness. I can promise that if you’re open it will change the way you think about failed relationships. Also, be sure to grab my free guide which walks you through the process of healing after having your heart broken.

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