Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste
natus error sit voluptatem accusan
tium doloremque laudanti.
Follow me


xocrystalnicole / Love Lessons  / The Truth About Women Who Are Hard To Get

The Truth About Women Who Are Hard To Get


plural women \ˈwi-mən\

a: an adult* female person

*adult– characterized by more than age, but also maturity.

Now that we’re clear about the women I’m referring to, we can proceed.

Dating nowadays can be…entertaining, to say the least. With everything, there’s the good, the bad, and the downright ugly, and unless you’re one of the lucky few who get it right on the first try, you’re going to have to rummage through the selection to find the right fit.

The woman who is hard to get, dope (not baking soda) on all levels, a rarity, is often characterized as someone who is playing hard to get. But, the truth of the matter is, a woman like that is hard to get—we’re not playing! It seems that some men and women have yet to grow out of the grade-school mentality. You know, where you’re awarded a ribbon simply for being present. That mentality has too many people thinking they somehow deserve to be rewarded simply for existing.

It takes more than simply showing up in someone’s life to be rewarded with their time, affection, trust, and anything else they have to offer. If you want a woman who is “hard to get”, you have to do things that show you’re worthy of such a prize. You merely expressing interest isn’t enough to move her. Your money, your accolades, your status, is not enough to move her, so what else can you offer? What else are you bringing to a woman who is self-sufficient?

Winning the attention of a woman who is sure of her worth and value and who is not willing to settle is not an easy feat, and you shouldn’t expect it to be. Women like that pour into themselves often, provide for themselves in all ways, and are not willing to adjust their standards just to say they have someone—anyone. That’s not to say that she is too independent and doesn’t yearn for someone she can love and be committed to, but she’s looking for an asset, not a liability.

Be prepared to match and/or exceed what she’s already giving to herself. If you cannot add to her life, leave. Her. Alone. There are no handouts, no rewards, and no benefits for those who underperform, so unless you’re willing to do what it takes to attain the “unattainable”, continue watching from the sidelines.


  • Sheena Steward

    I love this!!! Like you said those amazing women aren’t playing. They know their worth and demand respect.

  • Faizah

    I feel some men get discouraged when they realize the tools and perserverance it takes to win a woman over that has experience. Either they will step up to the plate or retreat.

  • Joanna

    Love this! I love when you said she’s looking for an asset, not a liability. Relationships are work and if you’re not willing to put in the effort and time, I really can’t deal.

  • Natasha

    According to my husband, I was a hard to get woman. I think a LOT of that had to do with the women who I was surrounded by when I was younger – and the men that were aligned with them. I’m proud to be in this exclusive club!

  • Bree Davis

    This is a real message. Unfortunately it will go over too many people’s heads.

  • Moriah

    Yessss, to all of this! “If you want a woman that’s hard to get, you have to do things that show you’re worthy of the prize.” A message!

  • Kita

    Say all of this again for the people in the back. I say “play harder” to men who think women are playing hard to get. Step your game up.

  • Holly

    Well amen. I wish people would think like this. If you can’t add to someones life leave them alone. So true.

  • Kim

    This describes me! I have no time for games. And then, I finally found my husband.

  • Tiffany Haywood

    Great post. These are all things I wish I learned about myself and my value a bit earlier in my dating life. I’m glad I know them now as a married woman.

  • Mimi Green

    Yes to all of these things. I’ve always been an independent woman and I don’t take no mess. I am proud of being bad @$$.

  • Elle (CleverlyChanging)

    Here’s the thing, if you take a step back and observe many women who are hard to get once in a relationship they fall in love deeply. It’s like once they’ve allowed a man into their intimate circle they are transfixed.

  • Jonna

    One more time for the people in the back. Time is such a precious asset – you have to be worthy and earn my time and attention.

  • Joyce Brewer

    Yasss!! Embrace having standards and not accepting crap. I don’t find that to be “playing hard to get” at all.

Leave a Reply