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xocrystalnicole / Love Lessons  / The One Who Got Away

The One Who Got Away

The saying goes, “you never miss a good thing until it leaves you,” but the truer statement is, you never thought that good thing would leave you, so you failed to cherish it while you had it.


During my “dating” life, or lack thereof, I’ve questioned what my purpose was with the people I met. I’ve always wondered whether my purpose was merely to show the people I encounter what unconditional love was. To give love to people who had been traumatized by poor displays of love and to those who had never received genuine love. I wondered if I was just meant to be part of the pre-requisites before they moved on to the real thing. You know, the person who helps them become better—not because I changed them, but because they wanted to—so that they’re now ready to handle their next relationship.


But, I realized God wouldn’t play me like that. Nah.

As I’ve grown in my spirituality, I understand now that we meet people to clear karmic debts, to see ourselves, and to face the shadows we try to hide from. It’s a part of the growing process, and growth isn’t easy, nor is it fun. It stretches you and makes you uncomfortable, and that’s why we avoid it at all costs.


What I once looked at as cruel punishment, I now see as an infinite blessing. God was never punishing me; He was protecting me—protecting me from myself. Essentially, every person we meet is a mirror, and they are there so that we can see ourselves, heal what needs to be healed, and grow into a more experienced and wiser version of ourselves.

I realize now that not everyone is ready to grow, heal and evolve, and that’s okay. We all have to do things at our own pace, and in our own way, but it’s not my duty to stand by until you decide you’re ready.

Grab Your FREE Guide For Healing


And, so, I walked away from people, situations, and relationships that were no longer serving me. I walked away knowing I had given what I could and had left them with something they would uncover when they were ready. What was left were the memories, but also the lessons. Lessons that might have been too much to handle back then, but someday, when they’re ready, they’ll be there waiting, and at that moment, they’ll realize…


I was the one who got away.


  • Vanessa Morgan

    Yes! Yes! And Yes again

  • Monique Tillman

    GIRL!!! This here!!! Everybody is not ready to grow and evolve. That’s a hard lesson to learn. Especially when you really love someone and know they have the potential to be a great partner but they have evolved into that person yet. Walking away sometimes is the best thing to do.

  • Lia World Traveler

    In all relationships you know what is best for you and sometimes walking is it. Too bad the other party didn’t realize what they had when they had it. Self-love is the best love.

  • Anitra | The Mom On the Move

    I am a firm believer that every person we encounter is for a reason and a season. Sometimes the reason is to help and support us, other times the reason is to help and support them. Many times we never know what are reason for encountering other people actually is. Either way, if you accept that every encounter is for a predetermined season – whether it be for just a few moments or for a lifetime – it’s easier to move with the ebb and flow of relationships.

  • Leslie

    Yep..when you know what you have to offer, you then realize it is their loss. Great post!

  • Joanna

    YES! I find it hilarious when men I’ve dated in the past come back with the “I wish I didn’t…” I’d have to pray long and hard to deal with that again. Walk away from people and things that don’t bring value. It’s definitely not worth the headache.

  • Bernetta

    I really enjoyed reading your post. You made me question a few things. I do agree with you that I am the one that got away a few times, and for that I am grateful. Great post.

  • Joyce | MommyTalkShow.com Host

    Relationships are to teach you about yourself. I learned a lot of painful lessons in my dating life and with former friends.
    It felt like hell in the midst of it – but in the end I was better off.

  • Kiwi

    I felt like this was my life story too that I attracted hurt people build them up and they would end up hurting me. Well I no longer look at it like that either, I am also on a spiritual journey and I agree with you about the karmetic debt but until we heal ourselves we will always date broken people who will keep breaking us.

  • Kayvona

    I definitely am on this right now! I’ve had to step away from multiple people, not everyone is worthy of having you in their life.

  • Angela Williams

    I loved how you felt God was protecting you from yourself. I can say im so happy He did in my situation.

  • Charlene

    Great perspective.

  • Chaffron

    I see myself all up and through this post. I got so tired of feeling like training wheels to prepare men for mates who weren’t me. Now that the things are finally looking up, I’m beginning to have peace, and even for all the answers I may never get, I know what character it built in me. And I hope I can encourage someone else.

  • Jane

    growth is something we usually don’t realise until we look back and realise the change, and the strength to walk away from people isn’t easy and it took me a while to realise that it was an ok thing to do. for a long time, I felt like leaving someone no matter the type of relationship was like giving up and I didn’t like that stigma. But I know now there is a difference in giving up and moving forward, we all are on different paces in life. not everyone is meant to move to the next chapter with you.

  • Simone

    Yes! Sometimes with recognizing your worth, you have to be the one that is lost. Walking away is hard, but so necessary. Great post!

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