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xocrystalnicole / The Journey  / 3 Ways To Conquer Envy And Live Your Best Life

3 Ways To Conquer Envy And Live Your Best Life

The saying goes, “They wanna see you do good, but never better than them” and it’s been a bitter pill to swallow. Although we know this statement to be true, when it’s in your own circle, it’s hard to deal with. Often, we think the company we choose to keep, whether it’s your family or friends, only want the best for us, and when we begin to make money moves, they’re right there cheering us on.

That’s not always the case.

And, maybe it’s not the people around you with this mentality; perhaps you’re the friend who can’t be happy when your friends and family start reaching levels you haven’t quite reached. How you choose to respond to someone else’s good news says a lot about who you are as a person, and where you’re going.

If there’s one thing I know, it’s that how you celebrate (or hate) on someone else’s accomplishments will determine how far you get in life. If you can’t celebrate someone else’s new relationship, marriage, job, pregnancy, home, business, or whatever it is they’re doing, you’ll block your blessings. Your negative energy blocks you from receiving the things that are for you because you’re not expressing gratitude.

Because this is a place of honesty and transparency, I have to be honest. I didn’t always clap when I saw other people getting the things I wanted, and it wasn’t coming from a place of hate, but I was tired of waiting and it never happening for me. Everyone else seemed to be getting the house, car, relationship, job, business, etc., meanwhile, I was being overlooked. I couldn’t understand why I kept being skipped, but then I had to check myself.

My negative energy prevented me from having the things I desired. I couldn’t be happy for other people and got into the mindset of ‘why me’ instead of asking the right questions. I didn’t ask why I was in the situation I was in; I just knew that I wasn’t getting my piece of the pie and everyone else was. When I realized that I was the one preventing my success from happening, I had to make the necessary adjustments.

If you find yourself feeling discouraged when you see other people getting what you want, these tips have proven to be helpful for me.

  1. Practice Gratitude

If you want to have more than you currently have, be grateful for the things you already have. Practicing gratitude is one of the best ways to manifest the things you desire.

  1. Congratulate, don’t hate

Make an honest effort to clap for people when they win. Someone else’s win doesn’t deplete your success. Success doesn’t run out; there’s enough for everyone. Even if your attitude is stuck on stank, do it anyway, and do it without ill intent. It will become a natural reaction to congratulate others the more you do it.

  1. Check yourself

To solve any problem, you have to get down to the root. Figure out why you can’t be happy for other people who are accomplishing their goals. I promise it has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with you. Until you resolve the issues that cause you to have this negative attitude to someone else’s success, you will not receive the success you’re waiting for.

Have you ever found yourself side-eyeing someone’s accomplishment? Be honest, there’s no judgment. Have you been on the receiving end of this envy? How’d you handle it? Especially if it came from family and/or friends.


  • Chelsea

    I’m here for this skirt and headwrap though! Details, please?

  • Kisha

    I’m the midst of the holiday season, this is a great post. In every relationship and situation we have to be aware of our role.

  • Tanya Barnett

    This is so on point! I work really hard to make sure I celebrate my sisters!

  • Kita

    I worked hard at not being envious of others. It was hard but it is so worth getting past that to push forward in my own light.

  • Natasha

    It is difficult, but when you choose to focus on the lane you’re driving in, it becomes almost impossible to notice what others are doing, or not doing. You just know to give a honk, and wave when they are passing you by, because you know, at some point, you’ll make it to that point too.

  • Mimi Green

    I am particular about protecting my personal space and my headspace. While we don’t have to always agree I don’t have negative Nancy’s in my life.

    I want us all to win and I celebrate others just as I would like for them to celebrate me.

  • Bianca Dottin

    These are great tips! I try to do little gratitude exercises every day to remind me how blessed I am. Thanks for sharing!

  • Nanekia Ansari

    Love this! It’s inportant to remember your time is coming but until then celebrate those moments with people you care for. Everyone has there time. Thanks for the reminder.

  • Michelle Thames

    I protect my energy and space at all times! Everyone has been there.

  • Eva

    This is a word. I love watching people do well. It does make me look at myself, but in a good way.

  • Ashleigh

    “My negative energy prevented me from having the things I desired.” Oh boy this took me some time to learn for myself in areas of my life, now it’s positive (mostly lol) vibes only! And yes, I’m about gratitude always!!

  • danasia fantastic

    Love these tips! I struggle with practicing gratitude, but it’s one of my resolutions for the new year.

  • Katherine G

    These are great tips. I had to check myself on many occasions. Cause I want to be happy for my family and friends who are getting where they want to be in life and not be bitter. So I am learning to appreciate my own journey more than I used to.

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