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xocrystalnicole / The Journey  / Don’t Save Her, She Don’t Wanna Be Saved (A Proverb)

Don’t Save Her, She Don’t Wanna Be Saved (A Proverb)

Initially, when I started this blog, it was a place for me to highlight my own journey to self-discovery and self-love. It was also a place for me to share some of the things I’ve learned along the way so that someone would benefit from my experiences without having to go through all that I did. Now, the focus has shifted slightly, but at the core, this will always be a place of safety, vulnerability, and healing for me, and for those who connect with me.

Being available to offer advice to women who are going through transitions in their lives, whether that be relationships, career, family, or anything, is rewarding for me and I love doing it. In being an empath and connecting with other women who have faced trauma on different levels, it’s important for me to empower women and remind them that they have the ability to save themselves, heal themselves, and revive themselves as often as they need to.

My mission is always to be a friend, to provide a safe place where someone feels comfortable enough to be open and vulnerable, most for the first time in their life, and to offer guidance that will help them move forward. More importantly, my intent is never to give you the answers but to help you find the answers yourself. It is in that process that you realize you have the power to fix the things you feel are broken in your life. You don’t need the validation of anyone else, and you don’t need anyone to confirm what you already know. Learning to trust yourself, your intuition, and your spiritual guidance is key to reclaiming your power.

Many women (men, too) are looking for answers to their problems externally. They’re looking for answers in sex, a partner, friendships, work, food, drugs, alcohol, etc. when all that provides is temporary relief. What you’re searching for outside of yourself has been within you all along, you just didn’t bother to look there, and that’s what I help you discover.

For other women, they don’t want the answers, they want the attention. They thrive on the attention and care they receive when they’re having issues—issues they most likely caused. They enjoy being the damsel in distress and having their knight in rusty shining armour save them. You know the type. The ones who are always complaining about something or someone. The ones who post all their problems on social media, but then never want to talk about it.

The ones who are always the victim and never the one with the issue.

Yeah, those.

Those are the ones who don’t really want to be saved. They may ask for help, but they don’t really want it. What they want is to be coddled and to be told that everyone else is at fault and they aren’t doing anything wrong.

Those are the ones you can’t help. At least not until they’re ready to come back to reality and take responsibility for their own actions. And, when or if that happens, I’ll be here to assist. In the meantime, if you know someone like this, save your energy for those who really want to be saved, not the ones who just want attention.


  • Vanessa Morgan

    👏👏👏👂 great post

  • Ola

    You’re to be commended for wanting to create a place of safety, vulnerability, and healing for yourself and others. I find that learning and applying the universal principles found in the Bible are the best way to lead my happiest life.

  • Mimi Green

    As women we really need a safe place to let our guard down. We take on so much, but rarely unpack our load.

  • Kim

    I’m not fond of people who do things for attention. I am glad your blog is a source for people who need a safe place and someone or something to relate to.

  • Dominique

    Wow. Good read. Real eye opener.

  • Leslie

    Ooh this is a word, a messeage right here. I need to slide this post in some DMs of folks I know.

  • Kiwi

    And let the chuch as AMEN!!! Girl so many women need to cut the pity party because I am not showing up dont send me no invitation and you will definitely not be getting a pity present from me. So many truths in this post, the mere fact there are too many people complaining but dont want to listen is sad, so the best people can do is not listen and make yourself unavailable and not coddle them. A lot of them are adult babies who never got trained as a child to hand their emotions better.

  • Monique

    Wow! What a powerful post and image. Keep sharing your journey.

  • Kita

    I believe everyone will be saved in their own time and that usually comes from within. But I will say sometimes people in the village if for nothing else to hear them.

  • Lauren

    As women having a safe space and the ability to connect with other women can do so much to aid in our growth and our own journeys of self discovery.

  • Elle (CleverlyChanging)

    I have a few female friends who live great lives, but don’t realize it because they don’t have a knight to continually complain about. Instead they complain about what they don’t have (insert face-palm here).

  • Stacie

    I think it’s always a good idea to listen to folk. You never really know what’s really going on and sometimes they just need a safe place to vent.

  • Sheena

    I know some complainers and they can stay all the way over there. I’m here for being a safe space but as soon as you disrupt my peace, I’m out.

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