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xocrystalnicole / Love Lessons  / Alexander den Heijer

When a flower doesn't bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.

— Alexander den Heijer

Elevation requires separation.

During my journey of self-discovery, I’ve dealt with situations I believe everyone goes through when they’re in a transitionary period. Situations that I didn’t always understand while I was going through it, but that made perfect sense once I had gotten where I needed to be.

When you’re going through a transitionary period, that is, when you’re being elevated, going through a glow up, or vibrating at a higher frequency, you will be uncomfortable. There’s no way around that.

It is naïve to expect change and transformation without struggle and discomfort. It is the struggle and discomfort that forces us to produce greatness and to do what we were put here to do.

When a woman is pregnant, preparing to give life, she has to be uncomfortable to experience the greatness that is childbearing. When contractions are racking a woman’s body, it’s hard to focus on anything else but the pain and discomfort. It’s not until she holds her baby and hears their cry that she can appreciate the hours of labor she’s just experienced.

The same applies to our lives. We have to experience the pains of life in order to appreciate the greatness that comes afterward. No, it will not be easy, but it is always, always worth it.

The period of transition isn’t supposed to be glamorous. It’s about facing yourself, unpacking your mess, standing in it, and fixing it—fixing you. It’s about removing the bandaids you’ve placed on those old wounds and finally cleansing them.

It’s difficult.

It will hurt.

But the outcome is priceless.

A lot of the discomfort I went through, I brought on myself because my inner voice was saying this isn’t for you, let it go, but I wanted to do what I wanted to do.

Sound familiar?

Doing what I wanted to do got me nowhere. It wasn’t until I released what was no longer for me that I was able to receive everything that was meant for me.

It’s amazing how much we hold on to something we know isn’t good for us when there’s something greater ahead. If you look back on your life, the things you thought you lost, the people you thought you lost, were all replaced with greater. God does not take something from you without giving you something better, but to receive better, you have to let go.

You cannot dwell in the past and expect to be present in the now.

We all know when a shift is happening in our lives. It’s not always blatantly obvious, but we know—we feel it. When the urge to separate yourself from everything you know comes, do it. As difficult as it may be, the consequences of not being obedient are much worse.

I’ve learned that you can’t go into isolation, just to come out and resort back to your security blanket, whatever that may be.

How do you expect to let go of them if you continue to entertain them?

How do you expect to grow if you resort to your old way of thinking?

How do you expect to heal when you’re still in the environment that made you sick?

Your period of isolation is meant to separate you from what has been holding you back. And though it may not seem like those friends, relationships, family members, or even that job are holding you back, they are.

Let them go.

Letting go is hard, but it’s not impossible. Be sure to grab this guide to help you let go of the things that no longer serve you. Already got it? Great! Tell me in the comments below how you’ve used the tools thus far.


  • Kinan

    I love this post, really good! You are absolutely right about how hard it is to let go of something and that changes is difficult..
    My problem is always attachment, I took a Long time to accept that I need to let go of something, and I hold on to it until it’s impossible to hold on anymore..
    Thank you for writing this beautiful post 🙂

  • Anissa

    Focusing on being present is what I’m currently working on as part of my self-discovery journey. I agree the end results is the pay off!

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