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xocrystalnicole / The Journey  / You Need This Kind Of Friend In Your Circle

You Need This Kind Of Friend In Your Circle

You need friends who are honest, not yes-men who only tell you what you want to hear. You need friends who don’t sugarcoat things and who ‘tell it like it is.’


You need friends who will call you out when you’re wrong and not cosign your wrong behavior.


You need friends who push you to want more for yourself, not friends who hold you back because they’re okay with mediocrity.


Every so often, you need to check your circle and ensure that the people around you mimic where you’re trying to go. As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together, and if you don’t believe it, look around you.


As we evolve and continue to grow as individuals, it’s vital that we recognize when we’ve outgrown someone. It’s not always easy to let go of friends who have always been around, but it’s necessary. And no, it doesn’t make you fake or phony for wanting people around you who match your grind and who have a similar mindset. 


Eventually, we grow up and our goals and desires for our life change. Going to the club every weekend, and being on every scene stops being important. We start focusing on building credit, making money, establishing ourselves, and starting a family, and that’s okay. Evolution is needed, and to progress and reach new heights, you have to cut people off who have been holding you back.


It’s essential that as much as we encourage one another, we also let each other know the truth. We must also be willing to accept constructive criticism and not become offended by it. Everyone who doesn’t agree with you isn’t a hater; they may actually be saving you from wasting your efforts.


As my mama would say, it’s better to have me tell you than someone in the street. In other words, it’s better to hear something from a friend than to have someone else say it. At least when it’s coming from your friend, you know it’s coming from a place of love. In many cases, your friends who tell you the truth, whether you like it or not, are only looking out for you, and those are the people you need to keep around.


Friendships are meaningful, and they make getting through this thing called life a lot easier. They add value to our lives, and quality friends are hard to find, so if you have friends who are honest and who motivate you to be better, reach for more, and support you, keep them around.


  • Lia World Traveler

    This is so true. In my opinion a person isn’t your friend if they don’t keep it real with you and tell you like it is. True friends keep you accountable and there to pick you up even when you don’t heed their advice. Great piece!

  • ejnosillA/RedefiningHERstory

    I love this so much! I am so blessed that my Sistah Circle is tight and we are on point! No yes men in my group and this is a topic that really needs to be discussed more! I love this and I will be sharing this on my blog site FB page. I loved this! Stay Blessed Queen ~ejnosillA

  • Mimi Green

    There are days when I don’t want to hear about my own ish. Yet in the same moment, I’m thankful for my crew. I know they want me to do and be better so that means calling me to the carpet. I’m a better woman for it and so are they.

    Having a yes-men doesn’t do anything for growth.

  • Aija Rhodes

    Yes; if your friends can’t check you from time to time they aren’t true friends. And yes we do outgrow some of our friendships. It’s okay, part of growth and life

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