No Is A Complete Sentence
On day three of 12 Days of Crysmas, I’ll be sharing one of the quickest ways to determine who should be allowed in your life to share your energy, and who you should cut the cord on.
Such a simple word, yet many of us have a hard time saying it. I was one of those people. It was hard for me to tell people no even if it meant inconveniencing myself to help them. And, if I did say no, I felt bad about not being able to do whatever it was that was being asked of me, so I always felt I needed to explain why I was saying no, as if no wasn’t a complete sentence on its own.
It is, and no further information needs to follow.
In the words of Auntie Maxine, reclaim your time. Reclaim your time, your energy and your resources. You don’t owe any of those things to anyone and it should not be expected of you. Who you choose to extend yourself to is completely up to you.
So many of us have gotten to a place where we’re always bending over backward for people we know would not do the same for us. They call and we’re quick to answer. They need something, and we do what we can to help, and it’s because we care and want to help. But, people who are quick to take and slow to give will drain you completely dry—emotionally and financially—if you allow them to.
All relationships are based on reciprocity, and if they aren’t, you should reconsider those relationships. – Click To Tweet
In the words of Beyoncé, the first time I say no, it’s like I never said yes.
Feelings get hurt when you tell someone no for the first time. You’re acting funny, you’ve changed, and whatever else they can say to guilt trip you into getting what they want. Don’t fall for it. There is no reason you should keep financing a grown person who is capable of doing that for themselves. Next time they need money, send them a link to a job application.
You are not anyone’s personal ATM, nor are you a 24-hour therapist (unless you are, then collect those coins!). You are not obligated to do anything for anyone, especially if you can’t depend on them when you’re in need. Take back your power and energy from those energy vampires in your life.
Do you find it hard to say no to others? How do you deal with those friends and family members who always need something?