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xocrystalnicole / The Journey  / Here’s The Thing About Toxic People

Here’s The Thing About Toxic People

The thing about toxic people is that they don’t realize they’re toxic. They don’t realize how negatively their actions impact other people, and themselves. People like this tend to project a lot of what they feel onto the people they come across. They’ll project their thoughts and feelings onto you, and if you’re not careful, you’ll begin to accept those things as your own truth, and that is not the case.

It took me a long time to realize that I had a lot of toxic behaviors. I was and always have been a good person, but there were a lot of qualities about myself that were toxic and unhealthy. I projected a lot of what I thought and felt onto others, and didn’t even realize it. It took me years to finally get it and for that lightbulb to finally go off, and it made sense to me. It also took inviting people into my life (subconsciously) who mirrored my behavior back to me. In most cases, we don’t realize how detrimental something is until we’re on the other side of it.

This epiphany and these experiences have allowed me to become more aware of when people are projecting their thoughts and feelings onto me. I also know that I do not have to accept them as my own if I know them to be false. People will tell you how you feel, what you think, or what your intentions are, and if you don’t know yourself and what you think and feel, you’ll internalize these beliefs as your own when they are not.

We are like sponges, and we absorb things easily if we aren’t properly filtering things out. Be mindful of what you absorb and filter out the things that are not aligned with who you are. You do not have to surround yourself with toxic people, and you don’t have to continue to be a toxic person.

The only person who can make these decisions is you. You have to decide to do things differently if you want to see something different.

Comments

  • Sheena Steward

    I agree, most people aren’t aware they’re being toxic. Sometimes it’s worth communicating to them and other times it’s not worth it because sadly that’s just how that person is.

  • Cherise Floyd

    I definitely used to project my insecurities on other people. It took me a while but I had to train myself to stop thinking that way. Recognizing it for myself helps me to understand other people a lot better and to try not to take the things they do personally. Great quick read.

  • Lia World Traveler

    Yes this article is so on point all the time. I wrote a post about removing toxic people from your life and this is such an important message. Thank you

  • Terri

    I love this post. Recently, I’ve been focusing on self care and riding my life of toxic people. However, I never thought about whether or not I’ve projected toxic behavior onto other people. This is certainly something I need to think about and be conscience of.

  • Sharice

    Great thoughts. We often need to self evaluate to make sure we are not the toxic part of the relationship.

  • Carissa

    I love this post! And I personally try to stay away from toxic people because it brings you down even if you aren’t engaging in what they have going on. I used to work near a lady that was very toxic I always came into work praying!!!

  • Nanekia Ansari

    Great post! Self-discovery is so important, it easy to point things out in others we need to point out in ourselves.

  • Natasha

    It takes a big person to realize that some of their behavior is toxic, and an even bigger person to admit it on the internet. I think you’re awesome for sharing, and for letting us know that we should examine ourselves as well.

  • Joyce Brewer

    There’s so much truth in what you just said. I had to let go to two toxic people in my life. I wasn’t good for them – and they weren’t good for me.

  • Kita

    I learned a lot about toxic people when my husband passed away. People really show their true colors and intentions at the oddest times. Keeping my peace during that time meant cutting a lot of people off. I’m better for it.

  • Kasi

    I couldn’t have said this better myself! Great post, I completely agree. It’s so important to make sure you don’t allow toxic people in your life.

  • Jonna

    This is so true sometimes. People really think that their actions are acceptable or say ‘no regrets’ and don’t want to deal with the fact that they got some work to do. We all do!

  • Tonia

    I stay far away from toxic people. I don’t have the time nor energy to deal with their junk. I’m not here for it. I’ll even go so far as to avoid people who keep toxic people around always complaining about them. I’m not here for that either,

  • Candice Straughter

    I really hope I don’t have any toxic tendencies. For most of my life I’ve tried to keep my circle tight because I can’t stand negativity and drama. It wears me down.

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